Are They Worth It?

               During the last and final retreat as an intern I had an experience with God that really changed my perspective of quite a few things. This experience was unlike any experience I had ever had in my entire life. I really hit a deep level of intercession midway through Saturday night. I was praying for the women that were coming into the throne room. For those who were not at the Retreat or have any idea of what I am referring to let me explain. We do Retreats with visual aids to help show people what God is trying to convey. All we are doing is giving a visual representation. This time we had a throne room on stage with a throne seated in the middle, and when the ladies would walk down the aisle a person playing Jesus would extend a scepter to them, and tell them to touch it. If you don’t understand just read the book of Esther and it will explain it all. Anyway back to the experience that I had with God. I was praying to God saying, “Lord let them feel Your heartbeat. Wrap them up in Your heart Daddy. Reveal Your true love to them”. It was a very simple prayer, but the more I prayed it the stronger I felt His love. I later moved from the stairs where I was praying into the throne room on stage in a corner. There is where I continued to pray, and His love became so overwhelming I began to weep. I was completely wrapped in the heart of God. I could feel His actual heart pulsating loudly for each person that came on stage. He then asked me, “Are they worth it”. We a loud wail I responded “Yes, each one of them are worth it. They are worth everything”.

                The past two years have been a lot of hard work, and at times it didn’t seem that there was much reward or fruit so to speak. It is a good thing that I understand that my treasures are not stored here on earth, but in heavenly places (Matthew 6:19-20). In reality I could be upset that I have a degree and am not using it. I could be upset that these past two years I could be making forty plus thousand a year instead of living off sponsorships. I am not upset one bit. In fact, I am beyond blessed. I gained a revelation that night that no dollar amount could replace. Being in the ministry is not about me one bit, it is about those that I serve. Being a leader means being a servant to those that you lead. My life is to be dedicated to others. My life is to be dedicated to plowing the field for the younger generations that are coming after me. Each struggle and act of obedience is all worth it if just one life is changed in the process. I want the young ones behind me to know the love of God deeper than me. This isn’t about how anointed I am, or wanting nobody I serve to seem more anointed than me. It is about being a disciple to others, building them up, and encouraging them to be who God called them to be. I still have selfish mindsets from time to time, but they are less frequent than they used to be. I am now a youth pastor, and with that responsibility proceeds. My actions could possibly dictate how young people view God. Each person in this world is worth all the blood, sweat, and tears that I have poured out thus far. I have absolutely nothing to give, but what the Father puts in me to.

When I felt the very heartbeat of God for those women it tore me apart. He loves each of us so much our minds cannot even begin to fathom such a love. It was so overwhelming. I wept and interceded for hours. Now I know how John felt when He had to give a description of what the throne room of God was like in Revelation 4. There is no human words I can put in plain text to describe this experience I had. It was like a high that I have never felt before. I was intoxicated in His love. He kept asking over and over, “Are they worth it? Is she worth it?” I continued to cry out “Yes”. The more women that came through the more powerful I could feel His love. It was like I wasn’t even on earth. My body was there, but my Spirit was with Him. He let me feel His heart. He let me hear what His heartbeat sounds like. It is an extremely loud beat that seems to say I love you. If we can only understand that our walk is not for us, but for others. Jesus did not even come here to be served, but to serve. Jesus, the Son of God, came to earth and washed the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17). He is altogether meek and lowly, yet we have ministers that are building a platform for themselves. We need to remember that there is no higher name in this world than the name of Jesus. He is the King of Kings, and if He has the highest name and served others why are we not doing the same. What if Christ said, “You know Father, I just don’t think they are worth it”. I can say that I do not even want to think about that situation. As Christians (which means followers of Christ) need to live up to what we say we are. If you call yourself a Christian actually walk as He walked. This again all stems from love, and understanding that we are not here for ourselves, but for others. Our revelation of God is not even for us, but is to be used to transform us into Christ and to share with others in hope that they gain a revelation of Him as well. My heart is breaking for the Body. We are so lost in ourselves; we have lost the true meaning of why we are here. In Matthew 23:11 Jesus says, “But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant”. Jesus was not one to embellish or exaggerate anything. He truly meant everything that He said. If you want to be greater you have to serve. We need the cry of “They are worth it” to arise once again. I am not different I need this cry as well. Let us gain an understanding of His heart for us and for others. He loves us more than life itself, and proved that on the cross.

Lord I pray that You awaken a cry in us for the people in this earth. Awaken a Body that lives to serve as You served. Lord let us learn meekness from Jesus. Let us feel Your very heart beating for us and for others. Lord I pray that we cast aside all selfish ambition of being the greatest at this and that, and You instill a heart in us to build up others over ourselves. Lord awaken a deeper love for You in this generation. Father we need the eyes of our understanding enlightened so that we can gain a better knowledge of who You are, and not what we want You to be. Lord let each person that reads this feel Your very heartbeat deeper than what I experienced. Lord let us understand that all of us are anointed children of You, and that You have put Your words in our very mouths. Let us understand that You love us so much that You knew us before we were formed in Your womb. I can feel Your fiery love right now Father. Pour this love through this page, transform lives, mend hearts, and establish a Bride that walks as You walked. I can feel Your heart again Father. I can hear the melodic pounding resounding with the words I love you. Overwhelm us Father with Your presence. They are worth it Father, worth it all. My life means nothing if I cannot pour out what You have given me. I seal this prayer in Jesus name. Amen!